Textbook Parents Part IV

So its been a long time since I wrote. There were times when I heard someone saying "they grow so fast", I was like here they go.....talk , talk and and more talk. Well what can I say, I am one of them now. they really grow so fast. I mean it seems like yesterday when she was lying in that crib sleeping 18 hrs a day and now she is all over the house, breaking everything that comes her way.

I mean think about it. Here is this 15 month old cute creature who creates enough havoc in your house to drive you crazy. Crazy enough to make you wonder what you have gotten yourself into. But at the end of the day when she lay asleep in her bed (on her belly with butts up, thats how she sleeps)we can not help but think how blessed we are.

She is almost 15 months old now and entered a stage where she mimics everything that we say. The other day when I uttered the word "Shit" and she tried to say the same I knew we were in deep shit...:-)We know she is keeping a score of everything that we say and is gonna say the very same things when she has the ability to say anything intelligible. So in essence we are her parents and she is ours cause what our parents couldn't stop us from doing, she would. Talk about payback!!!!

Jai

Text book Parents - Part III

So the day of the days finally arrived and I tell you that we were too caught up to notice how and what happened but now when I look back it seems nothing short of a miracle, a miracle which God has destined most of us to witness and experience even in today’s world where miracles are considered to be the byproducts of a lunatic’s mind. Till day I can’t help but pause a life running on a neck breaking pace and be amazed, thinking how I got so lucky. How did I, the meanest gutter bug ever lived get so lucky to have this bunch of joy in my arms.

Everything after that, happened in a fast forward motion and the trend still continues. It seems like ages ago I was lying on a 2 by 4 feet recliner in the hospital room trying to adjust my lanky 5 feet 11 inch frame on this small piece of furniture. My wife sedated and asleep and the baby in nursery it was the perfect moment for me to panic and think WHAT DO WE DO NOW????? Simran not being in a position to help me let me rephrase the though now and it was WHAT DO I DO NOW????

All these days it seemed like we were well prepared but how can you be well prepared to handle an 8 pounder whose only way of communication is crying? Who pees and poops anytime and anywhere. Who needs to eat every two hours, day or night. Who cannot understand that Mom and Dad need to sleep too.

Having survived the first 12 days after Gauri was born had heightened the limit of patience. I mean it is not every day that something is burning on the gas, your kid is crying uncontrollably, your wife needs your help and somebody is knocking at the door and in case I forgot to mention, all of it at the same time.

So its been almost 3 months and I didn’t finish this post. It seems to have happened ages ago. The little one turned out to be the source of infinite joy. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would agree that taking care of a child is no child’s play but a sweet smile from my lil one at the end of a long day at work and oh boy!! There it is , essence of my life, essence of my very being.

Text Book Parents - Part II

Second trimester went in a blur ….numerous tests, waiting to feel the first kick of the new life, waiting for the next doctor visit so that we can hear that reassuring heart beat sound again, wait …wait and more wait. The only highlight of the second trimester was another untrasound and this time that tiny one centimeter object has taken a recognizable shape. Not so clear yet overwhelmingly clear enough to make your heart burst with love and apprehension. And within this trimester came ‘the moment’ when the life inside responded to my touch. Is she ok in there? Does she has enough space to move around? What if she chokes on that fluid around her? Is the baby safe in there, what if she strangles her neck with the umbilical cord? Just when we touched the mark of 1 million, two hundred and ninety questions the second trimester gave way to the third.

If you have been a patient soul all your life, third trimester is the time to get introduced to your impatient self. If you have always been an impatient soul, brace yourself cause you would nearly trip over your own nerves and set new records of impatience. Yes impatience was the keyword for the third trimester for both of us. If you want me to put it in literal terms based on observing Sim I would say it was itchy, achy, heavy, leg cramps in the midle of night and less mobile for her and it was full of anxiety, fear and apprehension for me. Two false alarms followed with two emergency hospital visit which costed us close to 500 dollars. Bags were packed and placed in the car trunk (just in case). Gas tank was filled to the brim (just in case). All baby stores were ransacked for most everything they might have had to offer. We have finally read and memorized ‘week 240’ of the book ‘Pregnancy week by week’. Crib was all set and nursary was decorated. With all thos going on there we were a week prior to the due date and nothing to do except eat, sleep, wait, be anxious and grow impatient.

Thus came the due date and ….went just like it came… and …nothing happened!!! We were dumbstruck. This wasn’t something which fitted in our scheme of things. Not that I should talk of it right now but this was just the beginning of things and situations we haven’t thought about over last 240 weeks. So just when you thought that endless wait has come to an end, we realized it ain’t over till it ain’t over. The wait till now had a deadline and the one we were having then hadn’t one, so the paranoia and anxiety have permanently camped in our heads. In the meantime we had to reopen the “Pregnancy week by week’ and read week 241 and week 242 which we skipped earlier and no matter what they write it just didn’t seem pretty. Father of the bride – part II was watched for the umpteenth time and god bless Steve Martin, we felt a lil better.

Text Book Parents - Part I

1:30 AM, I was sleep deprived, haven’t eaten well in days.My backache is getting worse by the day. I have been carrying and trying to console her for almost half an hour now but she won’t listen and it was about time when I was reaching the edge of my patience when the miracle happened. She stopped crying ,clutched my index finger with a firm grip and stared at me with her doe eyes as if asking ‘Why so angry Daddy?’ At that very moment on the 4th day if faherhood I knew my life has taken a different shape and meaning, and all that for better.

Let us take a few steps back and go back into time where it all started. It commenced when two seemingly irresponsible, fun loving , careless and impulsive adults whom fate brought together through the bond of marriage, decided to bring one more of their kind into this world. Whether or not he/she would be one of their kinds is for time to decide but they thought so nevertheless.

Net was browsed for all relevant materials on fertility, ovulation calendars are consulted, articles are perused and fingers were tightly crossed for a month until a tiny line changed color on a device and showed the first sign of the life to be carried and drawn forth. Soon after docs were consulted and lady Ann Freeman fiddled with the untrasound machine to show us a tiny shape less then a centimeter and said ‘there it is’. Are you sure, I asked. Yes, she said smiling. It has a heartbeat in case you don’t know. My amazement has touched its height already and I have to stop short of declaring her half mental when she shifted the probe and I can hear the heart beat sounds. I couldn’t breathe for a moment and I accepted that I am in to witness one of the most miraculous things in this whole grand universe, bringing a new life into this world.

Fear, apprehension, hope were the prime emotions during the first trimester. Watch your step dear….one stair at a time please…you shouldn’t lift that rice bag its too heavy….did you have your vitamins today?......you should increase the intake of milk in your diet and don’t tell me you don’t like it……papaya is not for you…..feeling nauseated again??.....thus went the first trimester and it was time to feel a little reassured that all is going to be well and it was time to let friends and family know too. A moment which was much awaited ….call were made, news was broken, wishes followed and so did instructions.

Childhood thinking face

Funny how insignificant events from past haunt you all of a sudden out of nowhere and makes you laugh, cry and feel embarrassed. Some of them are so common to all, almost cliched that I believe most everyone had’em at times. This afternoon when the commercials interrupted my connection with that 70’s show I had one of these flashes from childhood when an elder asked a question. There is no point remembering who it was cause they were all the same, different name to a different face and always asking impossible questions. For God sake I was just a kid, couldn’t you ask simpler questions like ‘how many legs does a cow has?’ or better yet ‘What do you like most, candy or chocolat sundae?’

So there I was having fun, minding my own business, away from the elder zone as a wise kid is supposed to do to stay out of trouble. No matter how hard I tried to remain invisible to the elders, one of them would eventually have nothing better to do except quizzing me about social science and stupid history and not to mention math. Everyday I would pray to God to give all elders some sort of touring job which would keep’em away most of times and when they come home they should have strength only to eat, go to bed and hand me over my gift before doing so. I even wished that this should have been against the law and a flying squad would come to my rescue and ask the elders to stay away from me except when they come near me for the purpose of feeding or gifting. As they say when were the wishes of mankind fulfilled. So there I was bombarded with questions. Questions I wouldn’t know answers to. It was abut time to don my thinking face. Thinking face is a childhood phenomenon, we all had it one time or another so you would know what I am talking about. Its easy, squint your eyes a wee bit, make sure to manoeuvour your eyebrows so that you form exactly two and a half wrinkle between them. Don’t make an eye contact of more then 3 seconds at a time with your opponent. Look in every possible direction as if searching for answers. Glance sideways, back ways, top, down, glance on a slant of 45 degree if necessary. Well in all fairness it doesn’t do much except buying you a little time till next deadly question raises its ugly head. But it is against the childhood code of conduct to give up without going through the process. Not to forget that elders are emotional and they love you so if you are cute enough to make them laugh with your thinking face you may be exempted this time.

Yet another day

Gaye vo din ki nadanist, gairon ki vafadari
Kiya karte the tum kaqreer, hum khamosh rehte the
Chalo bigde pe kya sharmindagi, jane do mil jao
kasam lo hum se , gar ye bhi kahen, kyon! hum na kehte the..

Arguments, quips, fights, silence , meaningful stares, meaningless stares, having the last word, need to top one another.....same old crap which surprisingly never gets old. It seems like a story from some other life....it was indeed another life. The worst things about arguments are that you feel empty if you win them and crappy if you don't.
Anyways its funny how he jumped across times, an year, a month , a week or a day at a time. At first he took an occassional glance over the shoulder, hoping he can turn back, and much worse , hoping he can turn back time. Slowly his better sense takes charge and life goes on as this day become that day and these times become those times...Then comes a day , a day much like any other , ordinary and sliced in routines but a day which made him take a peek at those times. He would ask questions which will go unanswered. A lots of whys, ifs, if onlys...needless to say it doesn't matter any more. Hopefully things turned out good for him, more or less and he was among the lucky ones who would carry on until hit by yet another day of this kind. Moving on does not mean one can get past 'would have' and 'could have' of life and you can always play the blame game of life not being fair.

By the way nobody ever came with a written agreement of a fair life so get over it..

~Toodles

Damn Idiot Box !!

Some things are beyond our control without any specific reason. Consider a scenario you are sitting in front of the idiot box, half lying on that plush couch of yours, flipping among those 172 channels , hoping you would find something worth your interest to watch. Many a times during this process your finger moves toward that red power button which if pressed would put a temporary end to the whole ordeal. It just does not happen. I mean some unknown force pull your finger back and guide it towards menu, ch+, ch-, vol +, vol-.....and so it carries on till your eyelids cant bear the weight of sleep on'em.

Alright I did this, I acknowledged, I wrote and I seem to successfully wash away the guilt. Life is fair atlast...:-)