I am embarrassed

We were all having fun at Jitu’s in Chicago. It was the usual thing when Indians staying abroad gather they have no inhibitions and they enjoy it to the fullest. So as I said we were having fun and have reached a point where after hours of dancing everybody was in the mood of relaxing and so we started singing popular bollywood numbers one by one. By the time mrs. William’s turn came everybody was in a mellow mood. The effect was part champagne and beer and part dizziness from dancing too much. Mrs. William doesn’t sing , we knew that . We requested her to humm a few lines of any song at all. Embarrassed as she was she went for Jana gana mana and bang!!
This was the moment when I noticed a lot of things and I bet everybody did. No sooner then she started the national anthem we stole glances at each other to check if anybody is gonna stand. I could sense everybody including me was going through a great good deal of inner conflict. Should I stand? No….they would think I am over acting. But what if somebody else stands before I do, then I have to stand up for sure. Boy! It would seem so immature on my part if I decide to stand up just because anybody else did and not because I respect my national anthem. All these thoughts crossed everybody’s mind within 10 seconds. Eventually Bhupi half stoop up and the moment was bhupi was ready to stand up , Jitu noticed and he too started to move and in next five seconds we were all sure that to give due respect to our national anthem by standing up is the right thing to do. Thankfully the whole thing was over in a minute and we all were back to our comfortable position and back to kajra muhabbat vala which reverberated the whole room. I still don’t understand why is it so difficult for me or anybody else to simply respect our national anthem. Infact does it make any difference or does it make me any less patriotic than I already am? Logic says if I cant take pride in something like this I lack respect for my country. The whole incident still haunts me every morning when they broadcast Jana gana mana at ETC channel every morning when I am about to leave for office. Sometime I think I should leave early to save myself from the guilty feeling of not standing while listening to it.